It’s not so much dieting…

As it is “nutritional micromanagement”. It sounds like a pain in the ass to write down everything you eat, but eventually you can become accustomed to doing so. Yes, it may make other people who are eating with you uncomfortable and want to punch you in the face, but that’s usually only if you happen to point out what they’re eating as well.

I’ve gotta be honest: when I first started counting calories, I was a total snob. I was the person that you didn’t want to eat with for a while. I’d say things like “You’re gonna eat that? You sure? Okay, well, you eat the 450 calorie pizza slice and I’ll have the 240 calorie salad.” I’d show off my iPod touch and the apps that I entered my calories into. Keep in mind that this was well before there were any visible signs of progress, which probably made me come off as insufferable and a hypocrite. But it’s not like I wanted to make anybody feel awful about themselves. I suppose I’d have to chalk it up to the novelty of it. It was something new and different and I wanted everyone to know about what I was doing. I wanted praise.

But then I got comfortable. I can blame my mother’s cooking all I want, but in the end, it’s me reaching for the fork. I suppose that’s why my progress lately has slowed to a crawl. I’ve been showered with praise lately for how far I’ve come, so I’ve gotten comfortable again. In addition to the hormonal changes that young women are heir to, I’ve seemingly ballooned up quite a few pounds in the past couple months. I know that there’s really no “deadline”; fitness is for life, which is probably why people get dismayed so easily. A lifetime just seems like forever. And I’m well aware that my fitness overall is not entirely dependent on my weight. Still, it’s infuriating and I find me kicking myself for slip-ups more often than not.

So, what am I doing now? Still counting calories, only trying to keep calm when my day’s intake adds up to more than 1,200. On average, I’m probably comsuming roughly 1,400 or so, just 200 above the generic minimum. Really, all I need to do is tear myself away from my laptop and the Internet for maybe an hour and just take a walk every day. It’d do both my mind and body some good.

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Filed under Summer 2012

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