Housesitting, day three…

So, it’s Day Three of my housesitting gig and I think I’ve outdone myself in nastiest fried rice ever this morning. I wasn’t even planning to make fried rice; I went to sleep dreaming of waffles when I spotted the waffle iron up on the shelf late last night. But then I woke up, saw the stale rice sitting innocuously in its take-out box, I thought to myself “There’s rice…and a wok…and soy sauce. Let’s give it a shot!”

No. No, let’s not and say we did. My bowels will most certainly have their revenge, of that I am most certain.

But, aside from my misadventures in the kitchen, today’s been fairly low key. Got to play a bit of The Force Unleashed and I’ve advanced far enough to unlock Force Lightning, which I think isn’t as fun as Force Push, but it’s pretty fun blasting people up and over the edge into a pile of toxic slime. I wonder if I have what it takes to be a Sith Lord…that’d be pretty sweet. I would go Jedi, but screw them, they’re pretty much hippies when it comes to the Force. You can argue that they’re badasses in their own right, but who wants to be a Knight when you can be a Lord? If you want something, then seize it! And then there’s my playing style, which favors more bashing of things and significantly less diplomacy. Too bad my computer is a bit dated, otherwise I’d like to try to install Star Wars: The Old Republic and play as a Sith Inquisitor or an Assassin. Damn my graphics card…

Anyway, I’m taking a break from yard work today in order to do whatever the hell I want. You’d think that babysitting more than one kid would be a problem, but add a PS3 and a game that they both have spent way too much time on (like, say, LittleBigPlanet) and make them play with each other. It frees me up to do things like put away dishes, type this post, and play Slots on Gaia Online.

I remember getting a Gaia Online account about, what? Three years ago now? I got it because my friends were all “We should play zOMG together and stuff! C’mon, it’ll be fun!” And we did…for all of a day, if not less. Afterwards, we just kind of stuck to role-playing IRL and then I decided to do what I was supposed to do for a living and study. That semester may have ended poorly where organic chemistry was concerned, but I can’t say I regret any of it. So, the fate of my account has been reduced to something between wandering merchant, avatar outfit designer (with a strong, reoccurring fantasy element), and gun-for-hire in zOMG. There’s not much to do, really. Yes, there are the forums, but I’ve never been much for forum posting and connecting with people in that way. I’ll shoot down Cherry Puffs with you, but will I bump the thread or comment on your post? No. I’ll most likely be in the Casino, kicking the crap out of two Blackjack dealers and a cheating robot.

Went into the kitchen again and attempted to make a pizza with the can of dough I found in the fridge. As it turns out, this world does have people who like nothing but dough and cheese on their “pizza”, so my dreams were shattered. Is it just me, or does the lack of tomato sauce reduce this creation to cheese bread? It’s all good, though; I had snagged a sausage pizza from the freezer in the garage yesterday and stashed it inside. I just cooked the kids their “pizza”, made myself some real (the term is relative) pizza, and everyone’s happy. Really, I’m just here so that nobody kills each other. If anyone’s hungry or whatever, they know where stuff’s at, how to use the microwave, the phone numbers of more capable people to call. I guess you can call me the Hands-Off Babysitter.

[One almost disasterous trip to Wal-Mart later…]

…Okay, note to self: get a person’s cell phone number when you’re travelling with them to a deceptively large location. It’ll save you about twenty minutes of near-panicing and pacing about the store looking like a fool before finding them.

Anyway, I bought some supplies to make waffles tomorrow morning, just a box of Bisquick, some bananas, and a half-gallon of milk. Scratch that: not five hours later and it’s become a quarter gallon of milk. These kids, man, they guzzle down milk as if it didn’t cost a damn thing, so ignorant of the flux in food prices…

Who the fuck am I kidding? I’m only barely aware of the so-called “fluctuations” myself! It’s only because I have to buy my own food most of the year that I notice that the price of stuff I usually get go up or down. When it comes to other matters of economy, I’m just plain confused.

But, yes, waffles! I’m rather excited, despite the possibility that my offering of fluffy carbs topped with thinly sliced bunches of bananas may be rejected by three very picky eaters. Here’s the situation: two seem to subsist solely on cheese and the third is an even bigger mystery than the Rosetta Stone. Should make for an interesting breakfast, I suppose. If all else fails, they can get scrambled eggs and toast or something.

I dunno, honestly. At their age (or at least at the oldest’s age, which can’t be more than fifteen), I already knew how to scramble eggs and make pancakes; thank you, summer school enrichment course! I know I only picked it because of the free food, but there’s that saying about teaching a guy to fish and whatever. I can’t recall it at the moment, but I’m sure it’s deep. I was also pulling weeds and washing dishes by hand, but that was due to 1) my mother insisting to use her offspring as free labor and 2) the broken dishwasher being relegated to “extra storage space” in the house. Still, I’m grateful for the nagging and the defunct technology, as it has made me just a bit more capable than most.

Anyway, I got the food stuffs as well as a $10 RuneScape card because I can and because, apparently, I’m going to be housesitting for a long, long time. Might as well explore the world of RuneScape as a member. I had been planning to upgrade my account once I had maxed out all of the free-to-play skills, but I figured “Well, why not?” So, I’ve got thirty-five days to get as far as I can. I’ll do it!

Now, to get back to the Slots, to RuneScape, and away from a certain someone’s rather loud giggling over a rather inane television series. If I wanted to watch a pink gumball, good sir, I would do so of my own free will, thanks.


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Filed under Summer 2012

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