Okay, so about that chick in black dragonhide…

[Just a little warning: the following is entirely about RuneScape. Your own experience with the game will most likely vary, though every game has its own quirks and oddities. There are just ones that I’ve found during the course of my gameplay. It should go without saying that none of this will make sense unless you’ve played the game. My apologies.]

As it turns out, it was less of an elaborate rouse to fleece me for quite a bit of coin but more of someone who plays entirely too much with other people and finds themselves unable to function without the companionship of others. I’m actually a little disappointed; it seems I assumed that they were some kind of player-killing mastermind. Instead, they were rather…pathetic, I guess? But how much is that worth, really, from one person who is obsessed with the game to another? Our styles of play were different, that’s all.

Yes, this is a case of “it’s not you, it’s me, I don’t do the whole ‘let’s role play and be together and traipse about everywhere in this virtual land’ thing”. This cat flies solo.

But yeah. We left the zoo after (he? she??) they wheedled me into trying co-op Slayer tasks, which was fine with me. I only went to the zoo to shoot wolves and heroes and jogres (oh my!) and didn’t really have anything planned for the day. But then we teleported to Edgeville…which is basically a little speck of a town that is much too close to the Wilderness for my taste. And then she told me to go get the highest dragonhide armor I could get, as well as quite a few relatively expensive pieces of equipment for our upcoming expedition. That’s when the bells started to go off, my caveat latching onto the forefront of my mind. Trust no bitch…

Got my equipment, a rather nice set of red dragonhide ranging armor that actually matched my usual cape. I decided to splurge on the amulets and rings because what’s the point of amassing a bunch of wealth and then not using it? It’s probably why I’ll never be rich IRL, though my abode will most likely be nicely furnished and neat. Anyway, got my gear, got my Slayer gem, and we’re ready to roll. The first task: kill 61 ankous.


I had to go and buy rocktail. Rocktail! Expensive as hell on the Grand Exchange and possibly the best food that I’ve ever used in the game. Why didn’t I use it before? Because I never needed to! I made do with whatever and generally walked away from it relatively unscathed. Keep in mind, the highest fish that’s available on free-to-play is swordfish, which heals for 140 lifepoints. I went straight into member’s being able to fish sharks (200 lifepoints) but rocktail? I’m more than certain that I can’t haul them up from the infinite depths just yet. I’m good, but not that good.

But, yes, ankous. Scary motherfucking bony ghosts what live in the fourth level of the Stronghold of Security, which I still haven’t fully explored to be honest. So, that was fun, wandering about the second and third floors because I hadn’t cleared them yet and couldn’t access the shortcuts. Still haven’t cleared the fourth floor, though I managed to survive my first run in with ankous. Given my lower combat level and the fact that I was using a bow despite being a melee-based character, I’m chalking up my survival to rocktail and sharks. Didn’t get too much loot, though, because I wanted to stay alive.

So, Slayer-cherry popped and all, we decided (well, it was more like they decided and I said “Okay! :D”) to continue doing co-op missions. After slaughtering crocodiles, ghouls, Ice Warriors, cockatrices, and ankous (again), they finally signed off and I realized that we’d just spent the last twelve hours together and I had gotten nothing done. Like, less than what I usually would get done, by which I mean my allotments weren’t tended and my apple tree hadn’t been picked. Priorities, people.

I’ve got to admit, they were nice and stuff. I begrudge them nothing for making me spend pretty much three-quarters of what I had set aside for Herblore and Crafting training. And I went to bed that night feeling all warm and cuddly, with the thought of having made some friends who actually played regularly and invited me into a clan…

Until I woke up, logged in, and realized the cold, hard truth: this bitch won’t leave me alone! It’s like we had gone to Vegas for one of the Slayer missions and came out of it married and shit!!

I know there is no official “marriage” function in RuneScape, though some people can declare themselves bfs and gfs or whatever. Sometimes it’s because the person is legitimately an awesome person, but who are we fooling? It’s mostly because the other person gave them dragon claws or really expensive armor. It can be about love, but it’s mostly about stuff. Not that different from the real world, as far as I’ve observed.

Anyway. Person is now a ball and chain. I wanted to spend some time improving my Runecrafting in order to get a better version of the Explorer’s Ring. Person wanted to go Slaying again. Guess what we did? Slaying, of course. It’s fun, but not when you have to ask permission to go to the bank and get more food because ankous are best fought with sword and shield, not with a bow and arrow up close and they’re mercilessly whaling on you. You can get away with it when your skill level is higher, but not when you’re around the mid-range and not really focused on one style of combat. After feeling like I was being dragged along, I rediscovered the “Off Friends Chat” and “Off Clan Chat” buttons and not a moment too soon.

The lesson here, I guess, would be to either set boundaries or just be upfront if you’re a solo- or group-type of player in whatever game you play. I don’t care. I’m honestly way too happy to have regained my freedom to care that my Clue Scroll has a bunch of coordinates and I have no idea how to solve it. It was probably an asshole move to abruptly cut them off but they were being creepy and clingy and I want none of that. See ya!


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Filed under Summer 2012

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