Went a little too far with the experimenting…

But I think it was worth it. See, I’m all out of my delicious vanilla chai tea bags and, being the thrifty person (read: cheapskate) that I am, I can’t bring myself to buy another box while I still have some more chai tea. It’s from another brand that tends to make their chai actually have a pungent punch, which I’m sure is a worth attribute of that kind of tea, but I prefer my drinks to be a bit more gentle in aroma. It’s probably why I couldn’t drink that root beer I made in middle school. It’s not that I don’t like root beer, but the smell was a little too sharp.

But what was I saying? The chai, right. Anyway, I brewed myself a cup, dreading the intensely spicy smell, when I found myself looking around the pantry for something to add to it. That’s when I remembered that we still had some of that caramel sauce left over. It’s just your generic ice cream topping, no big deal. I wasn’t even planning to add the caramel, but I thought to myself “It’s sweeter than milk, why not?” and in went a tablespoon of the stuff. Wonderful. The sugary syrup dissolved beautifully into the warm tea, leaving only an opaque amber liquid. I wonder if it’ll work with chocolate syrup too…

Sorry if that sounds a little weird, but this is what I do when I’m bored: I’ll walk into the kitchen, mix a few things together, and see if it worked or not. Now, the caramel chai tea may have worked but that’s not to say that all of my concoctions have been as harmonious. If something didn’t work, I’d probably know it for sure by the next morning, to put it mildly. Despite my seemingly reckless endeavors, I consider myself to be extremely careful when it comes to putting something in my mouth. What am I talking about? Well, not that, in case you were wondering. I’m talking about the annual recalls of such-and-such a fruit or vegetable.

Seriously, folks, has our technology not advanced to such a degree that this sort of thing can be avoided? It’s almost ridiculous how either the lettuce or the spinach and now the melons are somehow tainted with E. coli or some other generally harmless bacteria. Yes, people can die, but what a way to go. It’s from something that happens to be in the wrong place because, surprise, you already do have E. coli in your gut. It’s normal for them to be around, just not in that particular place, near your mouth and lungs and stuff. Does that make sense?

Honestly, it wouldn’t take much for them to be on food. All they need is an opportunity, brought about by carelessly forgetting to wash your hands or keeping tools used for cultivation filthy. Is hand soap expensive or something? Does handling food not merit enough attention to detail? I don’t know what you think, but these outbreaks are ridiculous. They’re silly and they shouldn’t be an issue. It’s things like this that irritate me! It’s people that are too stubborn to actually double-check the quality of their product because they’re most likely focused on quantity. News flash, you idiot; even if you make a shit-ton of melons, what’s the point if people get sick from them?! What can you say to the families who lost people because of your killer produce? “Sorry, derp, but hey, check it out. We grew a LOT of melons.” I suppose that the worst part of all of this is that all I can do is sit here and type, angrily aware that I can do nothing but vent and not buy any cantaloupes. I’m just one consumer among many! My actions have no worth unless there are many, many more that share my sentiments.

And now I’m all riled up. I’m just gonna go make myself another cup of that caramel chai. Ugh.

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Filed under Summer 2012

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