October 2, 2012 — 2129 PST
Okay, so I’ve finally cooled down enough to process just what the fuck happened. I suppose I shouldn’t have snapped at Mary; they did do what they could, after all. But I was angry.
Angry at the under-representation of pansexual people.
Angry at the relative lack of other people of color in PRIDE.
Angry at my A-chem lab, at my T.A. for suggesting that I add more filter paper to my funnel, at everyone else who managed to stay on task and get themselves the hell out of there on time while I had to stand there, waiting for the fucking damp paper to catch fire and burn away.
Angry at myself for not being brave enough, smart enough, loud enough to make myself heard. Strong enough to declare my existence. I was erased, and I let it happen. That’s the part that hurts most of all: I’m not yet an adequate advocate for myself.