Ain’t this a bit of a copout…

[So, it’s November! School has picked up, to say the least, and I am currently writing for National Novel Writing Month! Or rather, I would, but my trusty thumb drive has decided to spaz out and not play nice with any other operating devices. It has effectively taken my first two chapters hostage. It could be worse, though; I could have been on the cusp of a victory, so long elusive has it been, before it decided that it was too shy to be recognized. But that’s neither here nor there. So, while I angst about my USB in relative silence, here’s yet another Tumblr challenge to keep you distracted! See you Wednesday!]

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?
Who was the last person I texted again? …Oh. Oh. Honestly, I’ve contemplated it, but that was more of a hypothetical situation. I mean, she’s nice and everything, but 1) she’s straight and 2) so not-my-type. Her eyes are gorgeous, though.

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?
Incorrect on two counts! I don’t have an “ex” and, even if I did, the only people I’ve spoken to today are my roommate and my best friend. They aren’t “exes” in any sense of the word.

3. Have you taken someone’s virginity?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I’m sorry, but this question is clearly for the Twelve Year Old Cassanova! But, no, suffice it to say I have not had the pleasure(?) of taking anything from anybody.

4. Is trust a big issue for you?
It is definitely an issue, but is it the BIG issue? Not really. I find myself fretting more over whether or not the Object of My Affection happens to be straight or not than if I can trust them. The way I see it, I’m going to trust people regardless.

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?
Yes! And we may just be able to hang out more next week, too, hence the stupid grin on my face.

6. What are you excited for?
The party at my professor’s house next weekend. I know, it’s just a little dinner thing for everyone in his research group, but I’ve asked my friend to come along. And by “friend” I mean “friend-I-happen-to-like-and-want-to-hang-out-with-more”, so…there’s that, too.

7. What happened tonight?
Well, since I’m writing this in the morning, I may as well talk about last night. It was a cozy night in with Caitlin and Lauren. We finished watching season one of Veronica Mars and started to watch season two. We called it a day at around 10 and I headed back to my apartment when I realized that I still hadn’t filled the day’s quota for NaNoWriMo. I plugged in my USB and…nothing. My computer couldn’t recognize the thumbdrive, saying that it was a Code 43 in the Device Manager or something. So then I just went to sleep after chatting for a bit with Jelly. And that’s my night!

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?
YES. What’s even worse is when said girls are all like “OMG, my friend who’s a girl, like, TOTALLY wanted to do me! But I said no. Ain’t I a tease?” The only thing worse than that is when they say it completely unbidden. If I don’t want to know, why are you telling me? I’m glad that we’re talking and stuff, and I know that we’ve known each other long enough to be aware that I’m not straight and you’re not straight (which is a kind of closeness in and of itself), but do I want to know about your almost-lesbian moments? Not really, no. Thanks, though, for trusting me and feeling comfortable enough with me to say stuff like that. That makes me happy.

9. Is confidence cute?
Confidence? Yes. Being comfortable in your own skin? Definitely. UNF. But being so hellbent on getting your own way that you neglect to take into account the emotions of the people that are around you and, to whatever degree, affected by your pigheadedness? Nope. There is a fine line between “confidence” and “being stubborn”.

10. What is the last beverage you had?
Vanilla chai tea. It was delicious.

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
I just realized something: less than half of the people I know are of the opposite sex. But I will generally trust everyone to a certain extent; that’s just something that I feel should be afforded to everyone. So, let’s say that 35% of the people I know are of the opposite sex. I think I could maybe say that a fourth of that would represent the people of the opposite sex that I trust fully. The number seems low, indeed, but that’s just because most of the people I know happen to be women.

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?
NO. And there is a very good reason for that: I know my body. I know what fits well, what makes me comfortable, and what flatters my shape. Clearly, it isn’t skinny jeans.

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?
Same thing I do every Saturday night: attempt, in vain, to study before succumbing to the influences of Tumblr and No worries; studying are what Sundays are for.

14. What are you going to spend money on next?
Public transportation to get to and from the testing center. I’m taking my GREs later this week!

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?
Given that I have kissed Nobody and am currently going out with Nobody, then yes. Yes, I am.

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?
Oh, yes! I am actually planning on it, what with the Paleo diet still being a thing and my strength training getting kicked up a notch, I hope I’ll change physically, if nothing else. If I happen to change in other ways, I won’t be expecting it, though, so it’ll be a nice surprise.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
My BFFle, Jonel. We’re just so tight! And to think we would have never met had it not been for that art history class…

18. The last time you felt broken?
A couple weeks ago, actually. It’s not like I have breakdowns periodically or anything and, really, it was hardly a big deal, but at the time it was simply earth-shattering. I know it was just realizing that I’m not pansexual because my interest lies almost exclusively with women (however androgynous they may be), but it was kind of crushing. I let myself wallow in it for a bit and now I’ve accepted it. I’m still me; all I’ve done is given myself license to actually be me. That’s all.

19. Have you had sex today?
Does masturbation count?

20. Are you starting to realize anything?
People can notice, and do notice, my newfound comfort, my confidence, and my ability to be myself. What’s more, they like that! One of my friends was wowed by my “butchness”, as she put it, and that compliment made my night.

21. Are you in a good mood?
Sort of? I’m a little bummed about my thumb drive, but hopefully Jelly’s tech wizard of a boyfriend will be able to fix it.

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?
Nope. No thanks. Do not want. I don’t care if they’re more scared of us than we are of them, they’re SHARKS.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?
Well, yeah. His brown eyes massively overpowered my mom’s hazel ones, ergo brown-eyed offspring. Basic genetics right there.

24. What do you want right this second?
I want to know if I got the damn fellowship I was worrying about. Or not. Any news is good news, even when it’s the inevitable bad news. I just want to know, y’know? Ditto to finding out the romantic leanings of the Object of My Affection.

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?
“Well…at least that answers that question.”

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
Yes. I’m not a big fan of dyeing my hair. Besides, my hair looks lovely in the sunlight.

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
Y’know, I thought I would be able to. That was definitely the biggest trait of the last person I had a crush on; she was a bit of an ice queen, cool and aloof. Turns out she was just overly up her own ass half the time except around the people she felt she could let loose while being around them. I was not one of those people, so all I saw was a glacier. She was majestic, beautiful. A comedian? Hardly. As it turns out, I want someone who can make me laugh and who I can make laugh, among other things.

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
Caitlin’s reaction to what “two in the pink, one in the stink” means. We didn’t have to tell her anything else but she was mortified. Her face at that instant was indeed priceless!

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?
Honestly? No. I know I said that I have someone I like, the Object of My Affection, but why am I going to miss them? She didn’t disappear or anything and she’s not dead either. She’s around somewhere, taking care of her own shit, and that’s fine. I mean, I wouldn’t mind seeing them, but do I need to pine for them all day for my affections to be “real”? No. I’m living my life and she’s living hers. Whenever my mind turns to her, I smile to myself, feel warm inside, and then get right back to what I was doing. That is more than enough.

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?
Maybe not everyone, but definitely people who have changed in some way, shape, or form within the last year.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?
Wait, why would I hate Bryan? He’s literally the nicest guy I know! Does he need to ferry me from the lab to my apartment on weekends? Nope. Does he do it anyway? Yup. Am I gonna get him a Christmas present fitting for someone so cavalier? Oh, fuck yes. Reciprocity, bitches!

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?
Unless someone happened to blab, then no. But would I mind that they went off and told her that I liked her, even if it was by accident? Not really; if anything, they just took care of an impossibly awkward situation for me. Sure, dealing with the fallout and possible future avoidance by that person of me would be another insurmountable task, but I can deal with that just a little bit better. Again, the most important thing is to know, y’know?

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?
You bet your fat ass I am! I love water! Why drink anything else?

34. Listening to?
“Honest Mistake” by The Bravery. Before that, it was “Constant Craving” by k.d. lang.

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?
Not unless I’m doing homework problems and the like. I prefer writing in pen.

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?
Doesn’t everyone know where their imaginary lovers are?

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Nope, because it’s never been “at first sight” with me. It’s always been “you were right underneath my nose for a year before I realized that I liked you”. It seems like I’m just a bit too dense for that whole “at first sight” thing; I would like to amend that statement to “love after a year of hanging around”.

38. Who did you last call?
Jonel, of course! I believe it was to see where she was so that we could go and get desert. I got cheesecake, of course.

39. Who was the last person you danced with?
A couple of the cool kids from Matsuri-Japan Club. It was to film a part in that school-wide Gangnam Style music video. Still haven’t seen the finished product, by the way. I’m feeling a little gypped.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
…Okay, this is just getting a little sad. Clearly, clearly, I am some sort of prude or a motherfucking unicorn for not having kissed anyone to date. So sue me!

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?
Last weekend at work. I was curious about those special cupcakes we sell at the store, the ones that have all of this fancy packaging for just one cupcake. I know, it wasn’t Paleo, but I also know that I’m more than good for it; I am nothing if not disciplined when it comes to what I consume. So, I bought it and ate it. It was pretty damn tasty! Of course, it was about $2.75 for one fucking cupcake, so I won’t be repeating that experience any time soon.

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?
No. Why would I? One’s far, far away at home and the other could be in the very pits of hell for all I care.

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?
OH GODS YES. It was slightly mortifying, but I survived, clearly.

44. Do you tan in the nude?
I don’t “tan”, period. In the nude? I have not that kind of confidence, sorry.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?
OH, FOR FUCK’S SAKE. What is it with society and kissing?? I’ll kiss when I am damn good and ready, no sooner!

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
Sort of? Jelly and I were chatting, like always, but there was that gap of time between hibernating the computer and actually going to sleep. I’m not sure if it counts.

47. Who was the last person to call you?
Some chick from the phonebank, asking me if I was voting for Cathleen Galgiani. I’m sorry, ma’am, but who I’m voting for is none of your fucking business. Thanks, anyway.

48. Do you sing in the shower?
When the mood strikes me. It doesn’t often, though.

49. Do you dance in the car?
Not generally. A little butt wiggle in my seat is probably the most I would do, but I’m usually the sensible one in any given car I’ve been inside of.

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?
I have! It was when I was in sixth grade camp; I’m a horrible shot, by the way. Definitely no Katniss.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
My high school graduation.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Admittedly, some of them are. But then you have things like Les Miserables or Rent that are simply powerful and not-cheesy in the least. I’d sure like to see one of them live, though…

53. Is Christmas stressful?
Nope! I have only a few people to give presents to, I have all of the time in the world to unwind on my computer, and plenty of company. Why stress?

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
I’m rather taken by cherry pie. It’s nice and tart.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Let’s see if I can remember them all: archaeologist, pastry chef, French chef, doctor (M.D., not Ph.D.), neuroscientist, neurosurgeon, Jedi, Sith Lord, pirate, ninja, hacker, professional Duelist, and a lot of other things that I’m sure I’ve forgotten about.

57. Do you believe in ghosts?
Nope. Will I get creeped out anyway? YES.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
Yes! It happens generally at the start of the school year, after coming out of that summer haze. I take a look around and re-recognize the people that I have classes with, the friends I hang out with, the folks I try to avoid if possible. It feels like I never even left for Summer Break at times.

59. Take a vitamin daily?
Why? I eat fruit and plenty of it. Vegetables too! It’s funny how I’m more of a veg-head now than I was when I was a lacto-ovo vegetarian my freshman year of college.

60. Wear slippers?
Nope. I’ll go around in my socks, though, at the very least. I’d rather not subject anyone else to the sight of my own feet.

61. Wear a bath robe?
What is this, a hotel? And if I’m lollygagging about, it’ll be fully clothed, thank you very much!

62. What do you wear to bed?
An undershirt, socks, and boxer briefs. I’ll wear pajama pants if it’s cold, but I’m nice and toasty underneath my covers.

63. First concert?
That I’ve played in? Sixth grade, Winter Concert. That I’ve attended and had “real” musicians? Sophomore year of high school, Merced Junior High’s Jazz Band’s Holiday Concert. The only reason I went was because my crush at the time was going to play and play he did. I geeked out afterwards when he noticed me there.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Wal-Mart is too cheap and Kmart is ghetto in all senses of the word. Call me biased, but I’ll stick with Target.

65. Nike or Adidas?

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?
Cheetos, if I must.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?
Question not applicable.

69. Ever take dance lessons?
I would with the right dance partner. That wasn’t meant to be flirtatious; I’m too tall for any of the boys (not that they’d stand a chance, as I like to lead) and the girls I’m interested in probably a) do not want, b) are too busy, or c) will probably take me asking them to come with on dancing lessons as me coming on to them and will definitely freak the fuck out. I mean, I kind of am, but it’s an implied question. Feel free to ignore it.

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
Working as a professor in a completely different department from me in the same university. We can meet up for lunch and be that couple that is so cute that it makes people gag a little.

71. Can you curl your tongue?
That I can. Wanna see?

72. Ever won a spelling bee?
Nope. I’ve won a speech contest, though.

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
My tears only flow when I am overwhelmed with sadness, I’m afraid. I have yet to cry for joy.

74. What is your favorite book?
This is definitely subject to change, as I read voraciously. Right now, I’m rather fond of “Stone Butch Blues”, but who knows what I’ll be reading in a few weeks? Maybe I’ll finally finish “Moby Dick”.

75. Do you study better with or without music?
With music. It just makes everything so much more epic!

76. Regularly burn incense?
Can’t burn incense in my apartment, though I’m not sure if I would even want to if I could.

77. Ever been in love?
It seems as though that’s all I’ve ever been in. Relationships, though? Not a one.

78. Who would you like to see in concert?
Interpol, maybe. One of my friends went to see Two Door Cinema Club, the lucky bitch. Or, ooh! Muse! That would require a trip to the UK, though…

79. What was the last concert you saw?
Voices of Light with Anonymous 4 and the Pacific Choral Ensemble as well as a crap-ton of string instruments. One word: amazing! Several words mashed into one: it-was-amazing-because-the-person-I-liked-was-singing-and-she-was-PHENOMINAL-and-I-managed-to-man-up-and-give-her-a-lovely-rose-which-hopefully-she-didn’t-think-was-too-awkward-or-personal-or-unwarranted-or-whatever-because-that’s-my-issue-when-it-comes-to-people-I-like-I-give-them-presents-too-soon-and-they-FREAK-THE-FUCK-OUT-so-yeah! Amazing, indeed.

80. Hot tea or cold tea?
Depends on the weather. I like my tea hot most of the time, though I won’t be horrified at the prospect of drinking cold tea. It’s tea! Get over yourself!

81. Tea or coffee?
Tea, hands down. Coffee is alright and all, but it’s more utilitarian. Tea, meanwhile, I can enjoy for the fuck of it.

82. Favorite type of cookie?
Good ol’ chocolate chip.

83. Can you swim well?
You mean “can you not drown?” I can, sort of. Can I hold my own in a swim meet? Maybe if my opponents were 3 year olds, sure.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
Yep. Not demonstrating, though. I like living.

85. Are you patient?
I guess? I mean, it took a whole year before I got over my last crush. I suppose I was waiting to see if there really was no hope for “us” to even take off, but that was obvious enough from the start. So why did I wait? Because that’s what I do: wait. Wait too damn long and then lose the opportunity to make a move.

86. DJ or band at a wedding?
Probably “band”. Let’s keep it classy, folks.

87. Ever won a contest?
I won a drawing for a $50 Barnes and Nobles gift card last year and promptly used it to buy my GRE prep materials. What? I’m a very functional person!

88. Ever had plastic surgery?
No, thank you.

89. Which are better, black or green olives?
I rather like black olives. They’ve rather grown on me these past couple years. Green olives are kinda gross; I wouldn’t even want them in my martini!

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?
Be safe, be happy. If you’re gonna do it, use protection. If you don’t want to do it, that’s fine. Just make sure that the both of you (or however many of you there are) know what’s what, that “no” means “no”, and that if something gets conceived that is not wanted, the decision goes to whoever’s body that is because they actually have to live with it. It’s just basic stuff, y’know? Not bad for a virgin, right?

91. Best room for a fireplace?
Master bedroom, because then you don’t have to worry about someone coming in when you’re with someone, laying down next to the fire. Or, even better, the kitchen because then you can make s’mores!

92. Do you want to get married?
If by “married”, you mean the “Traditional with a capital T” marriage, then no. People don’t get married just to have kids and, really, our species is clearly well beyond having to satisfy that particular biological imperative. But if by “marriage” you mean “have someone to spend your days with and shower with love and affection and be showered with love and affection in return”, then yeah! Who doesn’t?

93. Are you a virgin?
Clearly. I swear, half of these damn questions are about sex.

94. When was the last time you had sex?
DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?! Ugh. No, I have not had sex. No vaginal, no oral, and definitely no anal. The only “sexual” thing I’ve done in the last 24 hours was masturbate because, you know what? Sometimes, that’s a thing. That’s a thing that gets done and then I feel satisfied enough to move the fuck on, alright? GEEZ.

95. Favourite food?
Lentils smothered in mashed avocado with a bit of salt and Sirracha. It is truly delicious.


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