Category Archives: Midweek Drabbles

Midweek drabbles, or “Quickly! ‘Ere the lights go out…”

Exactly what it says on the tin, mate. My uni’s got a planned power outage and, according to the Office of Information Technology, I won’t have network access for a day and a half at the very most. I could’ve done this yesterday evening, sure, but 1) it was Christmas and 2) I rather relish a challenge very much like this to make my creativity spurt out all at once. So, let’s go!

The fluorescence which keeps me sane
is but shadow when compared to you.
I shan’t compare ye to a summer’s day
sunlight’s apex seems yet too blue.
Won’t you tell me, then, most brilliant one
what shadow pervasively clouds your brow?
Were you to smile and insist “None”
I’d think “I’ve made a liar now.”
************************************************
Multi-sided dice,
Keys to many fantasies.
Where shall I go, then?
************************************************
What’s the best way to find out if it’s love?
Knit for them. ‘Twill be clear soon enough.
As your fingertips ache, your mind slips away,
A scarf is not a scarf but a test of time.
Can you endure? Would you rather it end?
Purgatory, surely, is a long crafting project
with your only reward a fragile smile.
************************************************
Cheers to the lonely souls
as we celebrate the holidays,
medicate with food and drink,
and aggravate none, save ourselves.

Cheers to the hopeless ones
as we look to the new year, dewy-eyed,
yet seek to change nothing.
Next year’ll be the same, you know.

Cheers to the stubborn ones,
who also seek constancy.
So long as we’re satisfied
everyone else be damned.

Cheers to everyone, then.
*************************************************

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Cripes and crackers! The end of the world, you say?

Well, I wasn’t sleeping tonight anyway. Nope, not me. Not with everyone so fervently, adamantly hoping for the world to either end and take us all with it or (the more likely outcome) nothing to happen yet again so that they can have a great big laugh at the expense of everyone who had bug-out bags and canned goods at the ready. As for me, tomorrow’s just another day.

Oh! But then there’s that dinner thing I’m going to! As a reward for all of my hard work dutifully collecting data in the research lab, my grad student is going to take me out to dinner. I believe we’re having Indian and, before you ask, yes, I’ve stocked up on the Pepto Bismol just in case. My stomach’s normally made of lead, but you can’t be too careful with cuisine you don’t encounter very often. It’s obvious enough that Mexican-spicy is absolutely nothing compared to Indian-spicy or any other kind of spicy for that matter, but I’m still optimistic in terms for being able to handle it. The aftermath can only be contained, not prevented…

And, yes, that was a poop joke. Just wanted to make sure we were all on the same page here.

So, what else have I been up to since the start of Winter Break? Nothing much, really. I’ve just traded one routine for another, mornings in the lab followed by evenings at home. Don’t know what I’m gonna do when PG&E are going to do some maintenance on the university’s power grid, though. Maybe I’ll put a dent in Melville’s classic, Moby Dick. Or I could just spend my day writing and drawing. Or cleaning the apartment. I’m getting rather fond of cleaning, actually. It’s generally soothing and it takes my eyes away fro the computer for a bit so that they can recover.

Other than that, there’s not much to tell. It’s just been nice to have some time to myself and my thoughts. I managed to pass all of my courses, but not in the way I would have liked. I still like that certain someone quite a bit, but I find myself growing more and more content with just leaving things the way they are, with the two of us as good friends. I may be physically isolated from the rest of my folks, but I’ve got my autonomy, I’ve got my ambitions, and I’ve got my sights set on graduation and beyond. It’s not satisfaction, but a sense of everything being just so. Does that make sense?

Anyway, see you Sunday!

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Midweek drabbles, or “damn, that’s a lot of haiku”…

I like fruit. You like
fruit. It just so happens that
I am a green fruit.

I imagine you
as a small, tart blueberry.
Mind if I eat you?

Am I a man? Well,
does that really matter, love?
Let me surprise you.

You seem listless, drained.
Is there anything I can
do to ease your pain?

How about some math?
Dinner, your favorite film,
a couch, you, and me.

I ask not for things,
as “things” are not permanent.
Just…understand me.

Getting addicted
to writing haiku; why can’t
I read them to you?

I don’t have to see
you in order to get lost,
consumed utterly.

I prostrate myself,
completely at your mercy.
You only smile.

I kind of wish that
you weren’t so damn feminine.
But, fine, whatever.

As I sip my wine,
I think of all the things that
I could say. I don’t.

I wonder…does it
brighten your day when I say
just a simple “Hey”?

Honestly, you do
motivate me to work out,
eat better. So, thanks.

Please, don’t tell me that
you feel like offing yourself
when you’re far away.

You seem to be cold.
Let me get close enough to
change that, warm you up.

Can reciprocals
Come together and negate
each other at all?

Karmic vampire.
If it makes your day brighter,
then take it all, love.

A suit would suit you,
of that I am certain. But
I have yet to see it.

How many haiku
will it take to say “Hey, there”?
Twenty, and counting…

Is it weird that I
can see us together with
a pet cat, happy?
*****************************************
[Funny thing about this post; I actually wrote it down sometime in September, if you can believe it. I found it saved in my Drafts folder and when I reread it, I couldn’t help but chuckle. There are a lot of outdated and obsolete feelings, sure, but this is how I actually felt at that time. Flash-forward to now and I just don’t feel the same, y’know? I find it rather insightful, though.

And then I added a few more haiku, lest I feel guilty for taking a bit of the cop out approach. Again. No worries; I should be done with Finals Week soon!]

Is it weird that I
can’t see us as a thing but
wouldn’t mind it so?

It’s no surprise that
the river has flooded out;
I just broke the dam.

I am quite polite,
quiet, smiling. Is this how
we must be? I guess.

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Midweek drabbles, or that’ll be me within the decade…

Hopefully, anyway.

But, yeah, I’ve got nothing. Again. It’s the week before finals and I’m just feeling all sorts of drained. On top of that, my schedule has been opening up; seems like my professors are feeling the drain, too. We’re almost out though! I can just taste the free time I’ll have…and then promptly waste on RuneScape.

So, what have I been up to today? Well, there was that Biophysical midterm early this morning. I think I did well, though I had completely forgotten to add something about the quantum numbers onto my notecard. Seriously, two sides and I still only ever have just enough room! But I felt alright for 70% of the exam; I’m just focusing on passing at this point. I had a bit of a shaky beginning, but I’m gonna pull through, I think.

And then, the main event: my grad student’s thesis presentation and defense. I was tweeting the ever-loving crap out of it…or trying to. Again, I have lost my iPod touch so I was pecking at my laptop’s keyboard, trying to be discreet and quiet. I mean, I was sitting all the way in the back with one of my labmates (who, incidentally, was also on their laptop) so I think I was alright. It was just a little odd sitting there, Tumblr on my screen, trying to scroll down and entertain myself while being painfully aware that, surprise, surprise, my Biophysical professor was sitting not one seat away from me. Seriously. Talk about awkward.

So, after the presentation, everyone who wasn’t either the candidate or part of the committee had to leave. That left my two undergraduate labmates and myself with quite a bit of time to lollygag in the room where the reception was going to be. We hung out for an hour or so, just chatting away. I seem to do that a lot more these days, chat and while away my time.

…And I lied; I’m writing this during my club meeting, while we’re folding cranes and stuff and y’know what? Inspiration strikes.

The distance could be centimeters,
nanometers,
femtometers,
but I’ve never felt so far away.

A crooked crane, wings askew,
perfectly describes me and you.
And yet
the Fates deem me fit to remain.

Yet away, so far away.
(But not out of sight
Unfortunately)

Another crane, crooked.
Can there be no happy ending?

You are alight on someone’s shoulder,
chittering into their ear,
laughing and singing,
ever so glad.
Why do I bother
chittering too?
I chitter not
only squawk, indignant.

Yet another crane askew.
What does this mean for me and you?

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Midweek Drabbles or, y’know what? I didn’t really write anything…

That’s because I was sketching! Yes!

Am I going to scan said sketches and upload them? Absolutely not!

What? They’re sketches, the most embarrassing part of art. Or at least they are when you’re a lot better at writing than drawing, like me.

…Okay, so “better” is a relative term. “I write more than I draw” is what I’m trying to say.

So, why the sudden art-kick? Well, my BFF got me this cute set of eighteen little, slender color pencils when she was shopping in Japantown’s very own Daiso. I swear, that place is amazing! I hadn’t set foot in that place for five minutes before I found the housewares section and thought to myself “I’m totally gonna get a studio apartment here in SF and when I do, I’m decorating it with all of this. It’s happening. I don’t know how exactly, but I’ll figure something out.” I freakin’ love Daiso!

But, yeah. Just a set of colored pencils and my little sketchbook and…it’s just so relaxing! I’m not sure what it is exactly, but there are times when it’s just lines of color and not my usual person-in-badass-yet-dreadfully-impractical-clothing and you know what? That’s fine! Jelly even helped me make a color wheel and, being the amazing artist she is, is slowly but surely teaching me the very basics of drawing. Again, I’m still keeping my day job, so no worries there.

…Okay, so I feel kinda bad now. Let’s see what I can come up with. Give me a sec…

Alarm and alac!
I must say, you have a knack
For throwing me off balance;
Your entreaty, though undeserved,
Has left me most perturbed
And disturbed.

I can’t look you in the eye.

There’s not much there to see
Save the weakness in me
And the need, so bold, so brash,
So utterly, glaringly bare,
But still, I need you there.
Still I yearn to gaze.

The source of my malaise,
The cause of my distress.
You leave me feverish,
My mind a complete maze.
But still, your smile beckons,
The cure for all my ills.

I can’t go back to how I was.

And I don’t think I want to, no.

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Midweek Drabbles, or “It’s alright ’cause it’s nothing new…”

Purple.
A ring around your sunny smile.
You probably meant for none of this to happen
But I couldn’t help but be entranced by

Purple.
A wounded heart.
Battered, bruised, clearly defeated,
The blood that runs through my veins is not red but

Purple.
A color that suits you so well.
It clings to your form, as royal drapes should,
In all of the ways I would have wanted to.

Purple.
A sadness beyond simple blue.
Beyond despair, the feeling of a certain resignation,
The realization that you’re already happy
Without me.
I now know the meaning of
Purple.
********************************************************
I have litter in my pockets, litter.
Litter in my pockets, glitter.
How glamorous! The life of a drone:
Unthinking, unfeeling, just carrying on.
I long for the dreary to ease one thing:
One-sided love and its shameful sting.
********************************************************
Sleeping, heavy, dull.
The mind is a sharp blade; its
only sheath is sleep.
********************************************************
No
I don’t
Think that we
Would, should be,
Intimately bound
Thanks.
********************************************************
You are diamagnetic to me.
Where am I to place myself,
So utterly drawn to you,
When your orbitals are occupied?
********************************************************
Lovers? Perhaps not.
I am only a friend.
My feelings may be dampened,
But they were never “pretend”.

Friends? I hope so.
I can be nothing more.
Though it pains me to have never
Truly noticed you before.

Strangers? Never, please.
I don’t think I’d revive.
You called me a “trooper”;
All I do is “survive”.
********************************************************
To the once would-be lover:
It’s great that you want to talk
But I hardly want to just talk.
If anything, I’d like to spend some time
Together. Your place or mine?
Let us talk then (or more besides);
I’ll make sure to pick up some wine.
********************************************************
To the overly exuberant suitor:
Look. No.
You hear me? NO.
It’s never gonna happen,
not even if I’m drunk.
(Though I’d never drink
because, y’know, shit can happen.)
Continue as you are,
for you are very nice.
As for me, you’re screwed, you see;
I’d never look at you twice.
********************************************************
To the lover than can never be:
You’ve made me sing and soar;
I am grateful forevermore.
I come to you, contrite,
May things between us be set right
Again.
********************************************************
Sitting, air a-buzz
With the sounds of a thousand
Instruments. At peace.
********************************************************
I caught a glimpse of you today
As you were running up the stair.
I saw a flash, I turned around;
Turns out you weren’t there.

I spotted you as I walked by,
your hair clipped from your face.
I couldn’t help but stop and think
Your eyebrows are truly marvelous.

I saw you from my periphery
Across the street, closing in.
You called, I kept walking on.
Perhaps you’d like a hint?

I saw your car parked by the curb
And smiled at the blue.
I turned my head to see
If I could have seen you too.
********************************************************

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Midweek Drabbles, or just how does one get a relationship off of the ground…

Unsettling.
Unsettled.
I am the bee
Frantically dancing about,
Trying to catch your eye;
It just so happens that
You’re allergic to bees.

What can I do
When all I want to do
Is you?
When the only thing I crave
Is your undoubtedly sweet nectar?
When my body aches and
It’s all I can do to respect your wishes?

For I am a sexual being
And I do not apologize.

Disgusting.
Disgusted.
I can only hope you aren’t.
But I know not for sure
Whether your giggle was true
Or sheer nervousness;
It just so happens that
I’m afraid of the truth.

What I can do
When there’s nothing I can do
But wait for you?
When I can only bide my time
For something that will never be?
When I know that, down the line,
You couldn’t possibly want me.

For it is too much to hope for
And I am a perfect pessimist.

Defeating.
Defeated.
And here I thought I changed.
I have confidence, to be sure,
But I have none of your allure.
I can only speak anon;
And we are ended ‘ere we’ve begun.
You dazzle me, brightly vibrant.
************************************************
To a former lover:
You no longer sparkle so,
No longer dancing in my mind.
What do I know?
Have I gone blind?
No.
I finally see you
Just the way you are.
************************************************
You bright, sunny thing.
Can two suns be together?
You’re mysterious,
Softly glowing, vivid.
A moon, perhaps?
************************************************
I’ve fallen for you.
Everyone knows it too.
But what about you?
Would you love me too?
************************************************
Such a simple world you live in,
Your existence is so steady.
Would that I jump in and join you,
But my heart is not yet ready.
************************************************
Understanding.
Understood.
I believe in what I feel
And I will continue to feel
Even if it isn’t to be;
It is better to know
Than to languish, forever in doubt.

What will I say
When I see you next time,
Some time soon?
When I see you walking,
smiling, laughing, living?
When all I want is to hold you,
silently, simply being?

For I’m sure that I’m a gentle lover.
Why don’t you give me a try?

Determining.
Determined.
I am virtually unafraid.
But what will happen after,
Whether we can continue to be friends,
Is entirely up to you;
I’ve said my bit and now
It’s your turn, dearest.

What should be my manner
In telling you what comes easily to my pen
But not to my lips?
When is it appropriate
To pull you close to me in an embrace?
When will you realize that it’s you,
(Yes, you)
Who drives me wild with your scent?

For these words only scratch the surface, love.
And there’ s more where that came from.

Wishing.
Wished.
And here I thought I gave up.
It’s too soon to take a bow,
So I vow, starting now.
I can only speak truths;
And that I promise to this wish of “we”.
You make me vibrate brightly.

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